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How to Support a Friend Having a Panic Attack

Author: Jaagr Health on May 21, 2025
How to Support a Friend Having a Panic Attack

Practical Tips to Help Someone You Care About in a Moment of Crisis

Introduction: When Every Second Feels Urgent

Panic attacks can be overwhelming not just for the person experiencing one, but also for the friend or loved one who witnesses it.

If you’ve ever found yourself unsure of what to do or say when someone suddenly struggles to breathe, trembles, or seems “out of it,” you’re not alone. Panic attacks often mimic medical emergencies, making them frightening for everyone involved.

This article offers a clear, compassionate, and practical guide to helping a friend through a panic attack while staying calm and supportive.

Understanding What a Panic Attack Is

A panic attack is a sudden surge of intense fear or discomfort that peaks within minutes. It is not just “overthinking” or “being dramatic” it’s a real and distressing experience caused by the body’s fight-or-flight response misfiring.

Common Symptoms:

  • "Rapid heartbeat or chest pain"
  • "Shortness of breath or hyperventilation"
  • "Dizziness or light-headedness"
  • "Shaking or sweating"
  • "Feeling disconnected from reality (derealization)"
  • "Fear of dying or losing control"

Important: Panic attacks are not life-threatening, but they can feel that way to the person experiencing them.

What NOT to Do

Before diving into what to do, let’s quickly cover common mistakes to avoid:

  • "❌ Don’t say “calm down” or “you’re overreacting”"
  • "❌ Don’t dismiss their symptoms as “just stress”"
  • "❌ Don’t offer medical advice unless you’re a professional"
  • "❌ Don’t leave them alone abruptly unless asked"

Your role is not to fix or diagnose it’s to ground, support, and reassure.

Step-by-Step Guide to Supporting a Friend

🧍‍♂️ 1. Stay With Them Be a Steady Presence

  • "Let them know you’re there."
  • "Use a calm, steady tone."
  • "Avoid sudden movements or loud noises."

Say:

“I’m here with you. You’re safe right now.”

💬 2. Validate What They’re Feeling

Avoid judgment or logic-based responses. Instead, affirm their emotional experience.

Say:

“I know this feels really intense.” “It’s okay to feel scared I’ve got you.”

🧘 3. Help Them Breathe (Without Forcing It)

Panic attacks often trigger hyperventilation, which worsens symptoms. Guide them gently.

Try This:

  • "Ask them to breathe with you, not for you."
  • "Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds."
  • "Use hand gestures to model the pace."
  • "If helpful, count out loud together."

❗ Avoid paper bags this method is outdated and can be unsafe in some cases.

🌍 4. Ground Them Using the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique

Grounding reconnects them to the present moment.

Ask them to identify:

  • "5 things they can see"
  • "4 things they can touch"
  • "3 things they can hear"
  • "2 things they can smell"
  • "1 thing they can taste"

Or simply help them feel a familiar object a keychain, a jacket, or even your hand.

📞 5. Ask What They Need (Once They’re Calmer)

When their breathing stabilizes and they become more responsive:

Ask:

“Do you want to talk, or just sit quietly?” “Would you like me to call someone for you?” “Is there something comforting you usually do after this?”

Avoid assumptions let them guide their recovery once they feel more in control.

⏳ 6. Give Them Time and Space Post-Attack

After a panic attack, many feel drained, ashamed, or vulnerable. Be kind and non-intrusive.

Do:

  • "Offer water or a cozy blanket."
  • "Let them know you're proud of how they got through it."
  • "Avoid pressuring them to explain."

When to Seek Emergency Help

While panic attacks themselves aren’t dangerous, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between panic and a medical emergency.

Call for help if:

  • "Symptoms persist beyond 20–30 minutes without relief."
  • "They lose consciousness."
  • "They report chest pain that doesn’t improve with grounding."
  • "You’re unsure if it’s a panic attack or something else."

Helping Your Friend Long-Term

Supporting someone through a panic attack is one thing but being there consistently is what builds true trust.

Ongoing Support Tips:

  • "Learn about anxiety and panic disorders."
  • "Encourage professional help (therapy, psychiatry)."
  • "Check in gently between episodes."
  • "Avoid treating them as “fragile” they’re not."
  • "Respect their boundaries and pace of healing."

Conclusion: Be the Calm in Their Storm

You don’t need to be a therapist to be a life-saving friend.

When someone is having a panic attack, what they need most is safety, presence, and compassion not solutions or logic.

Key Takeaways:

  • "Stay calm, present, and non-judgmental."
  • "Guide their breathing and help them ground."
  • "Avoid saying “calm down” or minimizing their experience."
  • "Offer quiet support after the panic subsides."
  • "Encourage ongoing mental health care when appropriate."

Your presence even in silence can be the anchor they hold onto.

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